Why didn't they do the surface area test??? You know...when they smash it under a steam press to see how much space it takes up...this is not a comprehensive study...

Isn't it illegal to eat your test subject??? I thought they had ethics rules so subjects in food testing aren't harrassed by hungry scientists...

I think I'm going to try that thing where you wrap yourself in a cloak made of twinkies and jump off the building...it's gotta brace my fall!!! I know it'll work!